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Shut up. Seriously. I'm not quoting the movie. SHUT UP!
My fiance wanted me to see The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004) with her. I thought I was dodging when I responded "I don't like to see sequels without seeing the original." I mean, she'll probably forget about it, right?
Please give me the address of the guy who thought up Netflix so I can beat him. Those fools are fast! They send a movie to you in less time than it took me to stop throwing up after trying to watch Anna and the King!
OK, so I fought. Now, how 'bout the movie, right? It was OK. I think the 2.5 AD rating I am giving it is a little harsh for something that meant so well. Had they not made a sequel, it would have gotten 2 ADs. It gets credit for Julie Andrews, too... but loses points for the Julie Andrews "embarrassment factor." So, 2.5. (Oh yeah, Whitney Houston was a producer, and she talked in the special features. But the ambient cocaine counteracted any extra depression I got from seeing that.)
Heather Matarazzo is funny, as she was in Saved. Mandy Moore is annoying, as usual. That bald dude from Chicago Hope is usually good for some dry humor. (I thought the Coen Brothers had some old friends... Hector Elizondo has been in all 14 of Garry Marshall's feature films.)
So that leaves Anne Hathaway. Eh. She's a "classic" beauty - some compare her to Audrey Hepburn. When she was funny, she was funny. When she was pretty, she was pretty. The rest of the time it didn't really matter.
Stay tuned for my report on The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Lesson in Keeping My Mouth Shut. |
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I'm on a mission to see (or re-see) all of the Coen Brothers' movies. I recently saw Blood Simple (2004)... don't remember if I blogged it or not. It was OK. Not all that entertaining, but very well done. I also saw Barton Fink (1991) for the first time. I am ashamed to say that I didn't get it. I mean... I read some stuff about what other people thought it was supposed to be about, but I didn't get those vibes. The whole movie I just kept thinking how hot it must have been and how I wouldn't want to be close to John Goodman in that heat. Oh, and "Why isn't there more Steve Buscemi?" It was cool to see some of the old Coen friends in those two... though, I guess having only seen those two recently, I didn't really know that Frances McDormand, John Turturro, John Goodman, and Stevie B. were old Coen friends, now did I?
Anyway, back to Raising Arizona. More along the lines of The Big Lebowski and O Brother Where Art Thou? rather than Barton Fink or Blood Simple. Which is good, in case you were wondering. (Lebowski and O Brother are definitely on my Top 10 list, maybe even both Top 5.) Thank God this was also the only movie they made with Nicolas Cage. It's not that I don't like Nicolas Cage, but I don't really like him. He was OK in Arizona, though. Played a good "punk-with-a-heart" and such.
What I really like about this movie though, is that it's from the '80s and it's not embarassing. You can say that you like Raising Arizona, and people don't automatically assume that you like it because you and your brace-faced friends all watched it during a slumber party.
I am also happy to report that my fiance liked it very much. That opens the door for me to get her to watch The Big Lebowski with me, which, along with Shawshank Redemption (1994), is the true test of a girl's coolness. And she owes me, for sure. (See above entry). |
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So, I'm back after getting out of the habit for a few weeks. The only interesting thing I have done recently is see a few movies. So, I'll talk about those.
Garden State (2004)
Zach Braff's debut as writer/director/lead, Garden State was to me not what some other have said. I specifically remember one critic commenting that the movie took itself too seriously. I take issue with the idea that a movie that features a WWII motorcycle-sidecar, Natalie Portman in a seizure helmet, and Bilbo Baggins as the dysfunctional father can be taking itself seriously. The only way it may have been a little less taking-itself-too-seriously would have been to have Jack Black play Mark instead of Peter Sarsgaard. But then someone would have said it wasn't serious enough.
I like Scrubs. I really LOVE Scrubs, actually. Some might think that affection for Braff's loveable character on that show, J.D., brings people into the theater to see his "little movie." That's fine, because then they can see that unlike other actors transitioning between screen sizes, Braff can pull off something completely outside the realm of what most of America knows him as. As a matter of fact, I am afraid I might have a problem this fall not thinking that J.D. is bipolar and making out with Natalie Portman. |
Ken has seen it (I think), so I can finally write this.
Munoj Night Shyamalan was recently seen somewhere along the Main Line, singing Britney Spears... "I think I did it again... I f***ed with your heads... you guys are so retarded it seems..."
His latest entry into the "not quite a horror movie" genre is The Village. I won't insult you with a synopsis, you've seen the previews. You know the ones. They actually make the movie look all creepy and stuff.
However, the previews do not let on that the movie is a weakly disguised morality play about all of that there violence in the world. It's an excuse for Sigourney Weaver and William Hurt to act all serious and stuff. It's an excuse for Joaquin Phoenix, the creepiest part of the movie in a completely non-creepy role, to keep acting. It's an excuse for Adrian Brody to do the usual "play the mentally-challenged dude" stunt in the search for another Oscar.
And, finally, a chance for Opie Cunningham's daughter, Bryce Dallas Howard, to walk around acting all blind and stuff. She is the saving grace of this movie, one of the only reasons I didn't walk out. Any niece of Clint Howard and goddaughter of Henry Winkler is cool in my book. |
The sequencing of the genome of Propionibacterium acnes, the bacterium that is thought to cause acne, has raised some interesting questions. Not only does further understanding of the bug's genome mean that new treatments could be developed, but the idea that - along with HIV, hepatitis, West Nile, etc - acne could be spread via blood transfusions, is frightening indeed.
The fact that the microbe can be actively pathogenic raises the possibility of a potential public health threat from contamination of blood bank samples. Previous studies have found P. acnes in donated blood, introduced when skin flakes are dislodged during the processing of blood products or when an injection site is not properly sterilised.
In other news, accidental contamination of blood products by semen could lead to unintentional transmission of syphilis. |
| » Those Snotty Basket Weavers... |
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I recently joined the local chapter of Freecycle. It's an organization which encourages people to give their unwanted junk away to other people, instead of throwing it out or, I guess, putting it on ebay. Here in Ann Arbor, it's a simple Yahoo! group... so if you have something to give away, you send a message to the group. Or, if you have something you want, you can do the same.
I recently had my first attempt at a transaction. All I can say is, WHAT? See, my mom weaves baskets. When I saw this dude's e-mail, I thought it would be a great thing to give my mom. What follows is a set of e-mails, in chronological order, that were sent back and forth over about 16 hours yesterday and today. Green is him, reddish is me. My name has been changed, since I am innocent.
OFFERED:
Almost fifteen pounds of basketry reed, assorted sizes, mostly packaged. Some colored reed.
One-half mile west of Ann Arbor, off Scio Church road just to west of I-94 underpass.
Larry Preuss
Larry,
I can take that off your hands.
Vyacheslav Davidovich
Thank you, Vyacheslav, but if that had been my only concern I would have just dropped everything in the dumpster.
Larry Preuss
Larry,
I don't quite understand what you mean.
Vyacheslav Davidovich
You said you could take it off my hands.
"I could take it off your hands" = "Sounds like you are trying to get rid of something, and I am interested in obtaining said something, so a possible arrangement is me obtaining the something from you."
Vyacheslav Davidovich
Vyacheslav, I don't want to continue this, and have given the material away already. Your statement as given me implies that you recognize the great personal inconvenience I am suffering and that you, with admirable generosity but with (yawn) very little interest in what is offered, are willing to go out of your way to help. I was looking for a person who wanted the material so that they could work with and enjoy it. Work on your communication skills, but no longer at my address.
LP
Sorry that my casual reply didn't convey the full "I would love to have some basketry reed so I could give it to my mother because she has weaved me so many lovely baskets and I feel like it would be a great way to show my appreciation" that was in my head. In my next Freecycle transaction, I'll be more clear.
Sorry about all of the misunderstanding!
Vyacheslav Davidovich
"Sometime during life one must realize that words have meanings; this is part of the usual process of language maturation. Words are not simply the constituents of strings of subjects, objects and verbs in a more-or-less grammatical construction, but are the very engine of communication and understanding. Your sarcasm and your delightfully fanciful rejoinder are at least more clearly stated than were your first several contacts, yet remain despite that jejune and uninteresting: uninteresting enough that any further attempts at correspondence will be directed to my kill file."
My favorite is the bit about the communication skills. I make no argument that I am perfect... but I am a psychiatrist for the love of Mike!
Someone PLEASE validate my complete lack of comprehension about what just happened!!!!
Jul. 28th, 2004 @ 10:47 pm
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| » I, Robot (2004)... |
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Had I been blogging this on the car ride home, I, Robot may have received only 1 or even ½ anti-depressants. I was impressed by the effects, the interesting story, the fact that Bridget Moynahan's heroine is a PSYCHIATRIST, the reminder that Bridget Moynahan is a Class-A Hottie ("Category 5" as my friends and I used to say), and even Will Smith was at least phoning in his performance over a line with clearer signal. Finally, in the "creepy-future-reference-to-our-impending-environmental-doom" category, Lake Michigan is apparently going to be a desert in about 30 years.
But, as I sit and think about it, I am left with two burning memories. Well, three, including Ms. Moynahan (who is/was dating Tom Brady... bastard). First, my automatic bias against movies that are based-on, loosely based-on, inspired by, in the style of, or outright bastardizations of really brilliant literature. My elitism just can't let go of the idea of a generation of kids who only associate Asimov's story with The Fresh Prince... though I guess they wouldn't really know who The Fresh Prince is/was. And, the fact that a deaf person who only saw two or three minutes of the middle of the movie would be trying to figure out why someone smashed Minority Report and Bicentennial Man together. In the case of the latter, at least the kids were associating a talented actor with a work by a sci-fi god.
As my friend said as we left the theater... "I'm surprised they didn't have flying cars."
Jul. 22nd, 2004 @ 10:37 pm
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| » Hold my calls, Bernice... |
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It's a beautiful thing. The empty inbox, that is. I only achieve this level of organization once or twice a year. Some people never delete messages, some delete all of them. I use my inbox as a "reminder list" of the things I need to do. So, on these rare occasions when it is empty, I have nothing to do!
Jul. 20th, 2004 @ 11:15 pm
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| » The Secret Link between Sondheim and Clinton... |
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Amazon now has a "plog" for you when you go visit. I was laughing so hard, I forgot to look to see what the term "plog" is supposed to mean. Here's the first entry in my "plog":
Tuesday, June 22, 2004  Amazon.com: An exhaustive, soul-searching memoir, Bill Clinton's My Life is a refreshingly candid look at the former president as a son, brother, teacher, father, husband, and public figure. Clinton painstakingly outlines the history behind his greatest successes and failures, including his dedication to educational and economic reform, his war against a "vast right-wing operation" determined to destroy him, and the "morally indefensible" acts for which he was nearly impeached. My Life is autobiography as therapy--a personal history written by a man trying to face and banish his private demons.... read more. </html>
Jul. 13th, 2004 @ 08:51 pm
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| » Rob has done it again... |
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An Excel spreadsheet of University of Michigan faculty and staff salaries, all 35,416 of them, is posted on Goodspeed Update. If you're wondering which doctors make the most, don't look at the Psychiatry department!
Jul. 12th, 2004 @ 11:20 pm
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| » The End of the World... |
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 Yum!
I was introduced to a new beer this weekend. Let me just say that I was very pleased to meet her. La Fin du Monde is brewed in Quebec by Unibroue. (Not to be confused with "unibrow".) It is triple-fermented. I have no idea what signifiacane that has, except that it is also 9% alcohol by volume. Beer is usually more like 5%. Unibroue has 16 different beers. I don't know that all of them are available in the US, but they had at least five of the varieties at Bello Vino, that store on Plymouth Road where Whole Foods used to be. I picked up some of the apple-flavored Ephemere, too. I'll let you know about that.
Jul. 11th, 2004 @ 09:47 pm
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| » Anchorman (2004)... |
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Fine... fine. David was right. Anchorman was good. It was really, really... good.
I, too, love Will Farrell. I love his brand of comedy. I loved him in Old School. I liked him in this movie. Steve Carell is a gem. Christina Applegate is a fox. And, the cameos by real movie stars was fun.
The cameos by current stars of SNL* can also be found in: The Animal (2001), Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999), Joe Dirt (2001), The Ladies Man (2000), Superstar (1999).
*Note: The list is comprised only of SNL-cameo movies that were a)made in the last five years, and b) sucked a lot.
Jul. 10th, 2004 @ 08:57 pm
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| » Caution - Strong Language - May not be suitable for children |
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I am so fucking sick of this bullshit! -->
Homeland Security chief to warn of possible al Qaeda attack to influence U.S. elections, administration official tells CNN
I work with people every day who got shot at or shot in Vietnam. They smell diesel fuel or hear fireworks and they have disabling flashbacks, nightmares, and/or reactions. With more of this crap, the American people are going to eventually start behaving the same way. I don't want to see that, even though it would be good business for psychiatry.
In other news, I interdicted a communication from the table next to me at Panera Bread this morning. The bagels there may or may not be better than at Einstein Bros. There is no reason to panic, although this will likely influence the outcome of the presidential election.
Jul. 8th, 2004 @ 01:37 pm
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| » Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)... |
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Even though Micheal Moore's latest love-fest with "the man" was a fantastic documentary and scored a respectable 1 AD on the scale, I did pop about 6 Effexor when I got home.
Most of the negative criticism of the picture has involved accusations that this is just another dose of Moore bullying people and putting his otherwise not-really-made-for-TV face on camera. I don't think those people saw the same movie I just did. Like Bowling for Columbine, this flic is mostly about fear. In this case, the fear that the Bush administration is pumping up in order to push a questionable agenda, the fear of sending a loved one to die in a foreign land, and the fear that... oops... maybe we (more or less) elected the wrong guy.
Is it propaganda? You bet! Two hours of pure, bleeding, liberal propaganda. So what? A high percentage of people in this country get two hours of propaganda every single day. An hour of Rush Limbaugh in the car and an hour of Fox News with dinner. Even if the assertions made in this movie are only 50% true, it has three things going for it in comparison: 1) Michael Moore, to my knowledge, is not addicted to pain medication, 2) Fahrenheit 9/11 does not employ an annoying ticker to distract you from the lack of content, and 3) 50% of that movie is about ten times more than should be needed to impeach George W. Bush.
Highlights for me:
Michael Moore once again used the sob story of his hometown - Flint, MI - and some of its residents to make his point that the country's elite use fear and war to maintain the class divide that keeps them alive and rich. Sob stories get the point across. Even though I've owned two Buicks, I have no idea what it is like to live in a place like Flint. He also documented US Marine Corps recruiters targeting poor, mostly minority youngsters outside a Flint shopping mall.
In the series of "here's-Michael-Moore-bringing-it-to-the-fatcats" Washington DC shots, he 1) reads the USA Patriot Act to members of Congress over the PA system of a moving ice cream truck, 2) gets harrassed by uniformed Secret Service agents who are, for some reason, concerned about protecting the Saudi Embassy, and 3) tries to get members of Congress to sign their kids up to join the military.
And the winner for "Really Amusing Pop Culture Reference" is the background music chosen for a section about George W. Bush's ill-timed speech aboard the aircraft carrier - the theme song from The Greatest American Hero
...believe or not, I'm walking on air...
Jul. 5th, 2004 @ 11:43 pm
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| » They Might Be Giants at the Power Center... |
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Why do people like They Might Be Giants? Is it because they are waiting for the chubby guy's heart to explode out of his chest while he's jumping around? Nah. Is it because they are waiting for the other guy to start looking like he's having fun? Nope. Because they rock harder than Metallica? Not really.
It's because their lyrics are fun, unique, clever, unexpected, zany... whatever. So, the next time I see this group I am going to make sure I am in a venue that was set up for rock concerts, and that I'm NOT in the balcony. It was all a mumble. And I'm not one of those geezers that tells the kids to turn down that devil's music. I listen to loud music... A LOT. I just like to understand the loud words.
The show was still a hell of a lot of fun. It would have only gotten 1.5 ADs on the scale, if not for the annoying aroma of patchouli in the air. Yech!
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 09:16 pm
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| » Is anyone surprised... |
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 ...that Jeffrey Jones is a sex offender?
Usually playing some variety of creep, he is probably most famous for playing Principal Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986).
Jul. 4th, 2004 @ 09:57 am
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| » Now, I'm not so much a fan of the death penalty... |
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... but when people are setting off fireworks in puppies' mouths, "an eye for an eye" doesn't sound so harsh.
Jun. 30th, 2004 @ 08:43 am
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| » Dodgeball (2004)... |
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Just who is Rawson Marshall Thurber? People have two different answers. Most people say "I don't know." The rest say "oh, the director of the 'funniest movie since Old School*!'"
Dodgeball has the honor of being the first piece of entertainment to earn Depric Manession's coveted "0-AD" rating. It had everything. Sports, a cute love-interest, an enormous black man named "Me' Shell," and most important, Stephen Root (aka "Milton") from Office Space.
Prediction: In the next three years there will be 4 new movies about (previously) obscure sports. I KNOW curling is itching to make it's Hollywood debut!
* Jason C., aka My Friend Who Helped Me Move and Likes Movies
Jun. 28th, 2004 @ 09:52 pm
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